That Fire still burns…

When will a beat dog know he is beat…that is the question I pose today! Where are you at in your journey through this crazy thing we call life? What is your job and/or profession that you are called to…let’s get a little bit more personal…what are you “called” to and what are you doing day to day in order that you pay your bills? How about what are you doing that Inspires you and people around you???

My question about a dog knowing when he is beat is about whether someone should follow their deepest desire to do what they know in their Heart is what they want to do or should they continue on the path of status quo and just exist? I concede that this is a much more complicated question then I give credeence to in these few words but the question is still a valid one…

I am here today to pose that question to any and all readers I have out there…which I realize is only a very select few of my Closest and most Awesome peps:)!!! The point here is that as a Fighter I feel the pull to get back into competition even though, in brutal honesty, I don’t like competition. It Totally Blows!!! That is another story for another time but for now…here’s the skinny…As of late, I have been consumed with finding a safe place to live, getting a job, paying the bills, and being so successful in my job that I don’t have to worry about paying bills. So I have been off of the mat for almost 2 months now. Not training has been one of those things that has been hard but also extremely nice. (and any of you Fighters out there that haven’t taken time off and think I am weak for this, well I just say a nice go @$%$%# yourself!) Reality here is that I am getting this pull inside the deepest part of my soul that wants me to do something Extrodinary and put everything out there and just Fight!!! There are soooooooo many life realities that play into me stepping into that cage again, and 99% of them are all negative! So how do I proceed? How do I deal with this nagging thing inside of me (almost a nagging of my soul) that tells me it’s time to quit being a pussy and do something about it?

I specifically started this Blog so that I could Inspire and Motivate to people to reach beyond themselves and Achieve things that they never even thought possible in their lifetime! I WANT & PRAY that people will step out of their personal defeats and circumstances and do something Amazing with their lives!!! That is why I started writing the Animal Jiu Jitsu Blog!!!

Now when it gets personal I will be honest and tell you that I struggle with the things in my life that test to make sure are one of several things; God’s calling , a selfish ambition, or simply me trying overcome the pain in my life with stupid things like Fighting. My point is that I am and I want you all to be painfully realistic as to why you feel you should be chasing after the dreams you chase. Here’s the reality for me…I am definitely past my prime, I am not in the best shape for someone my age, I have a medical condition that makes my training and Fighting half as good as a “normal” person, my stand-up is horrible, and I am super busy with life obligations such as building a life and paying for it….so where does that leave me? If I was a rational person, had a “normal” upbringing, wasn’t just a little crazy, cared what people thought, and was a smart man (Forrest Gump reference) then I would put up my gi and gloves away for good and say “that’s enough for me” BUT that is EXACTLY where the wildcard lies…hhhhhmmmm…..