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Posts tagged “life struggle

Dental work Blows! and Teaching is Awesome!!!

I was under the knife recently…and Yes is Sucked, with a capitol S!!! I have almost no positive memories of my mother but the one thing I do remember about her is how she hated it when people touched her face, including her children. Out of all the nothingness that she taught me, I did learn at a very young age that she, and ultimately me, hated people touching our faces. And yes it’s weird when I am dating a girl and she wants to touch my face, it’s just really really uncomfortable:(

So there I was in this Awesome city called Denver, sitting in a dental surgery chair with a ton! of laughing gas and numbing stuff coursing through my lungs and veins. Regardless of how much stuff they pumped into my body to take my mind off of the fact that people were in my face doing some serious drilling and cutting, I was one extremely pissed off Animal! I had to reach out to my Lil Sis just to get some texting support right before the procedure so I didn’t punch one of the dental surgeons in the face. They were super cool and nice but I still hated the experience!

Now that I got that out of my busted up “online” mouth;) It’s onto some really cool stuff that is coursing through my Fighter/Professor body! I’ve been off of the mat for almost 2 months now and it’s been awesome and tough at the same time. It’s hard to put into words but when you have a tattoo of something you love on your body and you aren’t pursuing said endevour there is a part of you that isn’t syncing up right with the world. That’s where I’ve been. I’ve been working on getting settled into a new city and job so much that I let my Jitz slide, a lot:( This Jiu Jitsu layoff has been a weird mix of refreshing along with a side of feeling weak and lost. I know now that I needed to take a good break but I also know that I suffered for it. Soon I will be on that mat again and the journey shall proceed…

With Jiu Jitsu it’s this weird thing where I hate losing but I know I need to tap in order to get better. So now that I am going to be getting back on the mat soon, and basically rolling as hard as possible, with dudes that are very technical and 10-15 years younger then me, I know there is going to be some ass kicking coming my way;) I don’t tend to tap much and have been injured b/c I wouldn’t submit to a arm or leg lock and that is just stupid, but that is who I am. So fatigue and frustration here I come…

On an Awesome Jiu Jitsu Professor note! I recently started doing Privates with this 19 year old kid. He’s had no Jitz or any sort of Fight training so we are starting with the very basics. It’s totally rad b/c he is like a sponge and soaks up everything I show and tell him! I am muito excited to see how he progresses b/c it seems like he is committed to growing as a Fighter….but as always time will tell:) For now I am way Pumped to be working with him! As someone who has been teaching Fitness and Fighting for more then 10 years I have to tell you how Amazing it feels to be teaching again! I’ve also got a personal training client that I will start training next week. There is something inside of me that feels “right” with the world when I get to see my student(s) learn something, it is one of the most Amazing feelings in the world! So upward and onward I go…


That Fire still burns…

When will a beat dog know he is beat…that is the question I pose today! Where are you at in your journey through this crazy thing we call life? What is your job and/or profession that you are called to…let’s get a little bit more personal…what are you “called” to and what are you doing day to day in order that you pay your bills? How about what are you doing that Inspires you and people around you???

My question about a dog knowing when he is beat is about whether someone should follow their deepest desire to do what they know in their Heart is what they want to do or should they continue on the path of status quo and just exist? I concede that this is a much more complicated question then I give credeence to in these few words but the question is still a valid one…

I am here today to pose that question to any and all readers I have out there…which I realize is only a very select few of my Closest and most Awesome peps:)!!! The point here is that as a Fighter I feel the pull to get back into competition even though, in brutal honesty, I don’t like competition. It Totally Blows!!! That is another story for another time but for now…here’s the skinny…As of late, I have been consumed with finding a safe place to live, getting a job, paying the bills, and being so successful in my job that I don’t have to worry about paying bills. So I have been off of the mat for almost 2 months now. Not training has been one of those things that has been hard but also extremely nice. (and any of you Fighters out there that haven’t taken time off and think I am weak for this, well I just say a nice go @$%$%# yourself!) Reality here is that I am getting this pull inside the deepest part of my soul that wants me to do something Extrodinary and put everything out there and just Fight!!! There are soooooooo many life realities that play into me stepping into that cage again, and 99% of them are all negative! So how do I proceed? How do I deal with this nagging thing inside of me (almost a nagging of my soul) that tells me it’s time to quit being a pussy and do something about it?

I specifically started this Blog so that I could Inspire and Motivate to people to reach beyond themselves and Achieve things that they never even thought possible in their lifetime! I WANT & PRAY that people will step out of their personal defeats and circumstances and do something Amazing with their lives!!! That is why I started writing the Animal Jiu Jitsu Blog!!!

Now when it gets personal I will be honest and tell you that I struggle with the things in my life that test to make sure are one of several things; God’s calling , a selfish ambition, or simply me trying overcome the pain in my life with stupid things like Fighting. My point is that I am and I want you all to be painfully realistic as to why you feel you should be chasing after the dreams you chase. Here’s the reality for me…I am definitely past my prime, I am not in the best shape for someone my age, I have a medical condition that makes my training and Fighting half as good as a “normal” person, my stand-up is horrible, and I am super busy with life obligations such as building a life and paying for it….so where does that leave me? If I was a rational person, had a “normal” upbringing, wasn’t just a little crazy, cared what people thought, and was a smart man (Forrest Gump reference) then I would put up my gi and gloves away for good and say “that’s enough for me” BUT that is EXACTLY where the wildcard lies…hhhhhmmmm…..


Being sick & review of “Blink” by Malcolm Gladwell…

Since my move to Denver I have been very sick two times! My body isn’t used to this mountainous climate:( This last week reminds me of my drive here, how I had to stop at a gas station in some small town in Colorado and chill b/c I felt dizzy as all get out and my body was telling me I was going to puke at any moment! Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE it here!!! but in all reality for almost my whole life my body has been at sea level. And this Animal’s body is definitely not used to the cold, at least being in it day in and day out. So where does that leave me? I recognize the fact that I am not accustomed to this environment and that it will take me this first winter to get used to the weather here…so I am willing to buck up and accept that fact and work through the doldrums of a Texan in Colorado:( All the while stoking the fire of excitement of next winter when I will be snowboarding, snowshoeing, and climbing these Beautiful & Majestic peaks:)!!!

Now off to the world of literary Beauty:) I just finished “Blink” by Malcolm Gladwell and was overall very impressed with it and more specifically how it broke down people’s ability to make “snap decisions” of people and/or situations that they are presented with. It is fascinating how a person is able to make split decisions about people and/or situations based on what Gladwell calls “Thin-slicing”. He defines Thin-slicing as “the ability of our unconscious to find patterns in situations and behaviors based on very narrow slices of experience.” Throughout his book he gives examples of individuals in various professions that are able “read” people or situations solely based a quick glance of said scenario. Throughout the book he covers subjects such as how to have a successful marriage, car salesmen, Vietnam vets, war games, facial recognition experts, and many other unique and exciting subjects. He uses various studies and informational resources to back up his analysis and description of how all the various individuals have learned to be “experts” in their chosen field throughout their many years of experience.

One of the things that hit home for me while reading this book was how relevant it is to my years of being a bouncer and doing club/bar security work. I even mentioned this book and it’s findings about Thin-slicing to the general manager of Punch Bowl Social, where I am currently the Head of Security. I explained to him that b/c of all of the various threat scenarios and all of the highly intoxicated and violent individuals I have had to deal with over the years I have developed a keen sense of what is truly dangerous and what is not. For instance, when I see someone walking through the crowd or through the front door in my bar/club I can instantly tell if they are going to be a problem later on in the night. Now if that person is sober, I will wait to see how they act after a couple drinks before I am 100% sure about my decision as to whether they will be violent or not. But this skill that I have obtained over the course of my many years of working in clubs and bars is almost always completely accurate when I see a highly intoxicated individual walking through the crowd and I get that “sense” that he is of bad character. I tell my security staff about how I am able to do this effectively, especially with drunk people, and I always quote Ernest Hemingway to give myself more published credibility. Hemingway said “you know the true measure of a man’s heart when you see him drunk. He becomes who he truly is at that precise moment of intoxication.” I am paraphrasing here b/c I remember reading that quote in college and it has stuck with me to this day. That quote and glimmer of truth is the exact reason I trust no man that is violent or mean to women any form when he is drunk. So now you see how Hemingway and Gladwell are all part of my daily duties as a Professional Bouncer!

To sum up my ranting…I think you will benefit substantially if you pick up a copy of “Blink” and I believe it will give you greater insight into your chosen profession!


Humility & Knowledge of Self = True Strength!!!

I just finished a book I have read many times over the years yet first read when I was 17 years old. This book did and still directly shapes my life as a Fighter, Martial Artist, & Human Being! It is “Karate-Do My Way of Life” by Gichin Funakoshi. Gichin Funakoshi was the founder of modern day Karate, which was originally from his home island of Okinawa. His short yet powerful book is about his personal journey in life as a Martial Artist and how Karate came to be spread through out the known world. This book has totally helped shape me as a Jiu Jitsu, MMA, and Bar Fighter (Bouncer).

The title of this post comes directly from the final paragraph of Funakoshi’s book; “He who is aware of his own weakness will remain master of himself in any situation; only a true weakling is capable of true courage.” This is an extremely Profound and yet confusing statement all the same! This was and honestly is still a perplexing assertion that I have over many years struggled to fully understand.

How can weakness make you strong? One of the most pertinent thoughts that comes to mind when I ask myself this question is an interview I heard with one of the greatest Fighters of all time, George St. Pierre. He was asked if he knows what fear is and if he has ever felt it before or during a fight. His response blew me away! He said as matter of factly as he could that “Of course I am scared! I am in the grips of fear the whole time leading up to my fight but when I step foot in that cage and that bell rings, I let my body and training take over and the fear evaporates” Now that was definitely paraphrased but you get the point;)

I have sat back and meditated for years on how to come to grips with Funakoshi’s statement that only a true weakling will ultimately be courageous. As a recent supplement to my reflections on Funakoshi’s words I have included what GSP says about his fear and how he has harnessed that fear to be one of the greatest Fighters of all time. The result of my many years of dwelling on Master Funakoshi’s words, my many experience in the Fight/Martial Arts world, and GSP’s thoughts have brought me to the conclusion that “Humility & Knowledge of Self = True Strength!!!” I have come to believe that Funakoshi’s words mean that as a Fighter one must access an ability to be Humble no matter how “good” they are or how well they perform. A Fighter must also know his weakness and be aware of that in a Fight, and in life, so as to avoid that area or allow that weakness to be taken advantage of. For example, in life, if you have a problem with alcohol it would not be wise to hang around at bars thereby putting yourself in harms way or even date someone who drinks a lot of alcohol. The same concept applies for a Jiu Jitsu practitioner who knows that he is weakest (in positional strength and in submission defense) while he is in his opponent’s side mount…that Jitz Fighter should at all costs, avoid being put in his weakest position, and play to his Jiu Jitsu strengths so as to defeat his opponent!

Humility comes into play b/c I believe Master Funakoshi means that is ultimately the way to truly know and understand your weakness. Once a Fighter & human being authentically humbles themselves they will be able to know and understand their on their area(s) of weakness…thereby becoming a “Stronger & More Whole Fighter/Human Being”


“Just Show Up” & Success will come…

I just hired a bouncer at the bar I work at. To be specific, I hired him for part-time work to cover all of our regular guys shifts if they are not able to work or need time off. I did this b/c we don’t have another full time opening right now. But he will be working at least once a week and sometimes 3 times a week. Point is, he got hired!

On a related note, this guy is new to the world of Jiu Jitsu and constantly espouses how it has helped him drastically change his life for the good. In all honesty we’ll see if he’s still training in 5 years or totally walked away from it. I Pray he is still on that mat or at least struggling to get back on the mat like yours truely;)

Today’s post is about “Be Present To Succeed” or as I like to say all the time “Just Show Up!!!” Yuri is the name of the bouncer I hired at the bar where I manage the world’s Best Security Team. He got the job b/c he was constantly telling me that he needed a job. I told him over and over again that we weren’t looking for anybody but if he just made himself available when I needed him that he would most likely get hired (of course he would have to do a spectacular job and show me he knows how to bounce!) You see getting to where you want to be or finding success in your choosen profession/life isn’t all that complicated and difficult. I mean you definitely have to put the work in and know what you are doing in said pursuit, but there are a TON of other people out there that want exactly what you want and have the skill set you have! So how do you set yourself apart from them? What makes you different then them? The answer is plain and simple…you are willing to anything and everything to achieve your success but most importantly you are willing to JUST SHOW UP!!!

After I told Yuri, he better be available if I needed him, he made sure to pick up the phone every single time I called and if he absolutely couldn’t answer right away he called me back the second he could! He took my advice and made himself available at a moments notice. And consequently when we were short a guy at 9:00pm on a Friday night, I called him, and sure enough he came to the bar and got his first shift! All I needed him to do was be there when I needed him and he did just that and now he is a member of the best paying Security Crew in all of Denver!

Now Yuri says he has 5 years of nightclub experience, but people can tell you anything about their work history and experience. Not saying that he is lying about his bouncing/nightclub experience, at all! Yuri is a straight up guy BUT Tim Ferriss even talked about this in his book the “4-Hour Work Week.” Tim calls it something like “Creative Truth,” I believe he uses another phrase that I really liked but you get the point. Regardless of how much experience Yuri has, he has shown me that he knows how to handle instructions, a crowd of drunk people, and bar fights, so I am very pleased to have him onboard:)

My challenge to you today is to think of what you are trying to accomplish in life. It could be related to your career, family, or social life but whatever it is I want you to take a long hard look at how much you expect success without being 100% available for that success? For me, I want to write more and be published but more importantly I want to make very very good money writing! So how often am I sitting around and writing? How often am I spending my time sitting around watching a movie or doing stupid time wasting activities instead of typing away on my Mac? The answer for me is easy…I absolutely need to sit down more and write!!! What is it that you need to “Just Show Up” for??? What is it that you are trying to do in life that you feel like you are not achieving or even making headway on? What endeavor can you start “Just Showing Up” for and wether you get what you are after today, you are willing to wake up tomorrow and the next day and the next day until you finally achieve your vision of success?

I hope this helped clarify some things for you…more importantly I hope this Blog will motivate you to go out and do things you never thought you could or would do!!!

As Always I want to say Thank You for reading my Blog and Please click the “Follow” button if you haven’t already!!! Until next time…


Lost the Fire….

For all intensive purpose my move to Denver was a complete success…I have a Great job, have a steady and good income, I have Awesome church and am involved with a Great group of fellow believers in it, I have a Great group of Homie friends here, I live in the most Beautiful and Awesome state in the usa, I have the opportunity to train with some of the Best Fighters in the world…yet I have come to the realization over the last few weeks that I have absolutely lost the “Fire in my Belly” that has been with me for the many many years I’ve been on the mat and/or been trading blows with people. I made myself a promise to be completely honest with everything in my Animal Jiu Jitsu Blog and here it is…straight up and brutally honesty about where I am at with Jiu Jitsu and Fight training in general.

I wish I could just snap my fingers and get that Fire back!!! I recently hired a white belt for security work at my club, who has that Fire and is at the very beginning of his Jiu Jitsu path. It seems all that he wants to do is train…oh how I miss those days!!! In all honesty, part of me wishes I was back on the mat as a newbie white belt who used to train 12-20 times a week! I’ve been rolling for so many years that I barely remember how it felt to have that white belt passion that helped me stay so Alive on the mat…it was always driving me to get better and better each day and it seemed my desire to learn was unquenchable!

Life happens and there are personal family/health/life things we have to spend our time on that periodically take us away from training and granted those things can become intense and sometimes extremely time consuming in our lives, leaving us with little or no time to train. That is different from what I am talking about right now…it is not the lack of time that I am struggling with…it is the straight up lack of desire to push myself to new physical and technical limits on the mat! I miss those old days of being sore and feeling beat up b/c I rolled for several hours the day before. I miss that old familiar “Let’s Roll” attitude I had when I saw a very competent Black Belt tapping people out left and right. I miss the desire I felt in my bones to keep going and going b/c I knew even though I was getting tapped I was getting better and better after each tap.

Life here in Colorado is going Great and my move has been an AMAZING experience and trip! I am Blessed beyond measure! but I struggle with finding that “Fire in my Belly” like I used to have. I will keep ya updated on my progress and I can only hope that my current state allows people to see that regardless of how much someone enjoys something and/or how much they have committed their life to something that brings them happiness, there are dark times in that journey and I am in that “dark training time” right now with my passion for Jiu Jitsu. Let’s see where it takes me…


Peaks & Valleys in Jiu Jitsu & Life…

So here I sit after successfully making a move across several states to a place where I had absolutely no friends, any form of employment, and no home to speak of (other then an ad I responded to on the internet). It’s been 4 months since I got in my car and made the trek up north to this majestic mountainous region known as Colorado:) For all intensive purposes my trip is an absolute success! I have a full time job as the Head of Security for the largest bar in Denver, I have a great group of go-to friends, I have a Great Gospel-centered church and meet with my Jesus peps weekly, I have earned my name on the mats here in Denver, and finally I have been able to pay off some financial stuff and am on my way to being 100% debt free! So I am going to call this move a Complete Success!!!

Now comes the tricky part, which in Animal-speak means “not the ideal” or “short of the projected goal” I have not found a place or venue to teach my favorite art form, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu:( I have trained very little as well and I know that my Jitz game has suffered immensely, due to my horrible display of Jitz competency during my last two training sessions:( This is partly my fault for spending very little time on the mat but it is also partly the fault of my crazy schedule the last few months which keep me off of said mats. I have been in pure “survival mode” up until now and to be quiet honest I am still a hovering in that “just pay the bills” mode here. It is almost impossible to get a regular schedule that allows me to dictate when and how often I get to roll when I am in this mode. Ok so enough of my excuses and to the premise of this Blog post…

“Jiu Jitsu is full of Peaks & Valleys Brotha…”  These Amazing Words of Wisdom were spoken to me many years ago while sitting on the mat after some serious training. My Jiu Jitsu Brother Misho Ceko is responsible for this statement, which has stayed with me throughout the years and remains with me even to this day! I am not sure if he even remembers uttering that profound sentence to me? I am fully confident he has no idea that those words have carried me through the many of  years of ups and downs in my training and through some of my life’s most difficult moments. You see I use Jiu Jitsu as metaphor for life, which is Exactly the point of this whole Blog and the reason I am putting these words down on paper/internet now:)

I have done Horrible! on the mat as of late and I have 2 choices with the way I “feel” about my performance. I can either quit completely or work through the “Valley of Jiu Jitsu” that I am currently wallowing in now. I choose of course to persevere and come back yet again for another Horrible display of my Jitz skills and honestly I will do it over and over again b/c I will NOT quit and walk away from anything. This is my approach to Jiu Jitsu and also my approach to issues, problems, barriers, and obstacles that present themselves in my life.

Now to be completely honest I am emotionally and physically beat down from all the work and stress of this move. I have prevailed but at a tangible cost to be sure! Just b/c I say I will not quit doesn’t mean that I don’t dread the “Valley” I am in right now…I am of course referring to my Jiu Jitsu in general, and my emotional state as well! My point is that regardless of how I “feel” I choose to realize that life and training both have “Peaks & Valleys” and I make a conscious decision to drive through the Valley b/c I know I will not be in the Valley forever, there is Always Hope:)!!!

So Thank You Misho for your words of Wisdom spoken to me on the sacred mat that day in Mountain View, California! I have not quit training and will continue to drive forward towards the goal of being a Jiu Jitsu and Life Pimp:)

As always I hope you enjoyed my post and I ask you to Please! Please! click the “Follow” tab and help support the crazy life’s journey of a dude called Animal;)


Travel is a path and venue of True Growth…

How many of you travel? There are a good amount of my Blog readers out there that travel for work or travel to see friends and family BUT what I mean by “do you travel” is how far away do you go and how often do you get culturally challenged in a completely foreign environment and/or how often to you get to meet people that have a completely different idea of how to approach life then you do?

That is a tough question to answer! It’s tough b/c it’s usually an easy answer of “never” or “I dream of being able to go to a foreign land and explore but…” That is EXACTLY why I am purposing this nearly ominous question! I want to challenge you to GROW!!! Life is hard, very hard, and sometimes even extremely hard for some of us on this planet! And life sometimes seems like it is impossible and just “paying the bills” is too much…I get it, trust me I do! I have several tattoo’s on my body to attest to that very fact! BUT what I am asking you is very specific in nature…have you stepped out of the “life struggle” we all experience and taken a chance on being “uncomfortable” and/or gone to a place that you know is completely different then what you have ever experienced before? Point blank, have you stepped out of your comfort zone with the express intent of “trying something completely new geographically and culturally?”

I have done this exact thing several times in my life and to be completely honest it was Extremely difficult! and Challenging at first…heck for several days it straight sucked! I specifically remember my first trip to Brazil and being in Sao Paulo and boy was I excited, at first! but little did I know that my Brasilado friend that I knew from San Jose, California that told me “not to worry about anything when I got there” was going to COMPLETELY leave me hanging:( Let’s just say I am Blessed to have even gotten a ride from the Sao Paulo airport from him! He promised me that I had a place to stay and that he would take care of all my travels, nightlife, and accommodation worries while I was in his country…boy was I mislead! Turned out he had his girlfriend was there at the same time and this girl was 15 or 20 years older then both of us and a total bitch! (and that is putting it kindly) Thank God he had secured me a single room in an apartment in a relatively safe part of Sao Paulo…I mean the “cold only” water worked and I could wash my clothes by hand and the toilet worked sometimes! but hey I had a very very hot roof over my head…in the building I was staying in there was no air conditioning on the 16th floor and it was 100 degrees plus! outside (that’s in fahrenheit of course;) but other then that I had a place to stay:( Honestly I would have been better off staying at a hostel!

Point is my first trip to Brazil SUCKED! I do have to say that my 2nd trip there was AWESOME!!! I stayed with my girlfriend at that time, Bianca, and her family and honestly that was one of the BEST times of my life:) Bianca’s Mom, I call her “minha Mãe” was AMAZING to me as well as Bianca’s entire family:)!!! Point is I had a BLAST and felt Loved and Taken Care of while I was in Brazil with Bianca and her family!!! That trip was AMAZING and I felt Loved & Cared for the entire time…Thank You to Bianca, Minha Mãe, and her entire family!!!!

To the point of my Blog today…Do You Travel? Here’s my challenge to all you readers out there…set aside 2-3 weeks of your life over the next 3 months specifically for traveling to a place that you have never been to before, and honestly the more different the better! And just let go! I’ve done it before in other countries and it was very difficult at first but it was WAY worth it in the end!!! Just go and be you and connect with a part of you that you have never connected with before! Just “go with the Flow” as I say in Jiu Jitsu:)

Btw my next trip is going to be either to Thailand, Vietnam, or Brazil again…we will see soon enough:) There are several factors involved with that decision but I plan on being inside an international plane within 3 moths FO SHO!!! I will keep you all updated as to which destination I will travel to Fo Sho!

I Pray that you find the courage and wherewithal to give it a shot and if you do Please post your trip Awesomeness on here so we can all take a peak at your own personal Adventure & Growth:)

As Always I appreciate your support for and reading of my Blog!!! more then I can say on paper/internet, it means the world to me!!! If you can PLEASE officially join my Bl0g by clicking on the “Follow” tab and registering with WordPress b/c I would LOVE to have you on here and able to connect with me anytime you can!

Thank You all for your support and now it’s your turn to take a chance and LIVE Life to it’s fullest and get somewhere Amazing & Cool!!!! Keep us all updated!!!

Animal out…